Thursday, June 16, 2011
Last month I decided to knuckle down to write my memoir. Honestly, I feel like I am finally answering an overdue call . Since then, I have been reflecting on my life and it has made me a bit nostalgic. At the core of my memories and nostalgia are my children. Particularly Jon-Jon because he is my first. Although marrying my husband is hands-down the best decision I of my life thus far, having Jon-Jon is hands-down the event that totally changed my life. For me, there is no "before and after" more extreme than the before and after life of having children. My life before being marriage was definitely different, but my life before having Jon-Jon was massively different.
Although I had my 9 months of pregnancy which was difficult - the real change came at the very end of delivery when with one final push - a life emerged. A living, breathing, being that was conceived and developed in the deepest part of me. I know everyone doesn't see the gravity, the seriousness of parenthood. But the idea that my children biologically came from me and I am now responsible for guiding them into who they are supposed to be. To see that happening right before my eyes is astounding.
At 2:47pm on May 27th, 2002 I went from being able to get up and go wherever I want whenever I wanted to having to physically, spiritually and emotionally answer to the responsibility of protecting and nurturing this mini human. My life went into overdrive immediately. Even before the nurses wnet into their delivery room routine, I put Jon to my breast where he immediately latched on and fed until they whisked him away for his first bath.
Since then I have had my other two babies, Quentin and Noelle. When Jon emerged from my body into the world (in the most intimate and exposed way possible) life transitioned from sleeping naked, hangin' with my husband and late night movies to sore and swollen boobs, scraping up time to shower and late night trips for diapers and pacifiers. 9 years later life has transitioned further into PTA meetings, teachers conferences and soccer practices. Next it will be excruciatingly frank talks about sex, driving the car and body piercings. For these last nine years I have been caught up in a complicated, fascinating whirlwind that is thundering by all too fast.
If I knew then what I knew now about the state of life - the moment Jon-Jon came slipping out, I would have stood on my swollen feet, threw my hands in the air and declared at the top of my lungs, "Let the wild rumpus begin!"